New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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