I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
