Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
