You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
