Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
