One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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