so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
