Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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