He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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