But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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