dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
