My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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