Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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