Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
