Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
