I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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