also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
