I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
