Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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