i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
