Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
