It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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