Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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