i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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