yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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