Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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