he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
