Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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