You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
