I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
