we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
