carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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