God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
