I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
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My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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