I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
