We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
