White coat. Heels.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
