this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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