I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
