I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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