I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
