Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Oh god it's open bar.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
