Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
