So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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