he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
