i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
