just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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