So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Are we still banned from the library?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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