In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
