Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
