I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
