So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
