Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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