she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
