I'm going to jail i love you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
