You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
