i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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