2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
