He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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