ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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