he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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