Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
