o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
