he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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