when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
