Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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