Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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